Giving Thanks for Eachother
by Chamein Canton

Since the holiday season is once again upon us I decided to stray from my usual format of discussing wedding fashions to take some time to address what’s at the core of every good wedding, the bride and the groom.

Long before you began planning the fairytale wedding, there were date nights, dancing, long drives, cozy dinners for two and just plain hanging out enjoying each other’s company. However sometimes it’s those very things that begin to suffer because we’re so busy planning the wedding of a lifetime.

Thanksgiving is a time for families to come together and give thanks for the blessings they have. It’s also the perfect time for you and your intended to give thanks for each other. These days it’s far to easy to take even the littlest things for granted, to take care of some detail that can afford to wait.

Several years ago a good friend of mine announced to me that she had finally met her soul mate and indeed she did. He wined and dined her and took her to some of the best tropical vacation spots in Caribbean. While she loved all the attention she told me some of her happiest evenings were spent in front of the television on Thursday nights watching Friends with him and just vegging out. And then they got engaged.

Suddenly everything centered around the wedding. She was completely consumed with making sure that every detail was perfect. In other words she turned into a Bridezilla. So instead of vegging out on Thursday nights with her fiancé, she had one ear to the phone and her eyes fixated on her wedding notebook. Someone had to talk to her and that someone was me.

We went to lunch and I basically told her that if she didn’t slow down and start spending less time yelling at the florist and more time cuddling with her fiancé there wouldn’t be a wedding to plan. She seemed shocked at first but once we broke down her behavior over two short months, she got the point. I told her to relax, release and delegate!

Eventually she hired a wedding planner (not me, I have a rule about mixing friendship and business) and within six months her wedding went off without a hitch. That was 10 years ago and they’re still together.

So what’s the point of this little story? We need to remember in this time of giving thanks to make time to give thanks for each other everyday and not just a few times a year. With all the pomp and circumstance that comes with being the bride a few things are bound to get overlooked, just be sure it’s not the groom. So this Thanksgiving before you freak out over cooking a meal, how many people are coming and whether you should have pumpkin or sweet potato pie, spend some quality time with your fiancé. Let him know how thankful you are that he’s in your life.
( By the way guys it works both ways.)

Chamein Canton is an author, mother and plus-size wedding expert living on Long Island, NY.

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