Womb to Grow, Pages from a Curvy Mom’s Life
 Pregnant and Nothing to Wear

by Monica Rasso for ElegantPlus.com

On my darkest day of pregnancy, somewhere in my ninth or tenth month (yes, there are 10 months of pregnancy… go count!), I would muffle my cries in my pillow while tending a gladiator-beaten back and think “Am I the only person who feels like a lopsided whale?”  There were no clothes that fit me right.  Don’t even ask about undergarments!  I was hungry, but nothing sounded good.  Tired, but no position was comfortable.  Then after a few minutes of self-pity, the guilt of my selfishness would hit me.  There was a life forming inside of me.  And I would tell myself that all I have to do is make it just a few more weeks. 

 I asked some of my friends who recently had children or are presently pregnant to answer a few questions for me so that I could write this column.  From what my friends have shared with me, whether we gained 15 or 80 pounds during pregnancy, somewhere in the ninth month, each one of us wanted that kid to pop out a few weeks early!  But even those with the worst self-esteem during pregnancy are so humbled and proud to be creating a life.  One of my friends said “even though I was fat according to my own body standards, I LOVED being pregnant!”  I discovered that even though we feared the uncertain, were anxious about the future, and complained of our ailments during pregnancy… somehow all of that is resolved as soon as that baby is placed in our arms.          

So how much weight is the “right” amount to gain?  What a great question.  The truth is that as long as your doctor says that you are healthy and you feel good, you’re doing fine.  The scary part comes when pregnant women have to deal with high cholesterol, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, or anything else that puts her life or her baby’s life in danger.  Other than that, there is no “right” amount to gain.    

 There are self-esteem issues that go along with any weight gain, whether during pregnancy or not.  To my surprise, what I’ve learned is that most women are accepting of the temporary gain.  A weight gain of 40, 60, or 80 lbs is not the end of the world.  Keep in mind, no matter how much you have gained that many, many women have gained as much weight or more than you have. The words “fat” and “pregnant” are not synonymous.   If you are pregnant, you are not fat.  Period.   Don’t focus on a number on a scale.  Instead, focus on eating right during pregnancy and worry about perfecting your health later.  That will probably include losing weight, but it is more about getting your own body back (during pregnancy it is shared with a baby).   

Ah, then the “later” arrives.  Many of my friends have lost all or most of their “baby weight” within the first year after the baby is born.  But we all agree that our bodies are just, well…. different.  All of us struggle with the waistline changes and an overall “drooping” of body parts.  Most have stretch marks.  I had a lot of skin discoloration that thankfully went away within three months.  You either have to accept the changes or work to change them.  Don’t use the excuse “if I only had more time.”  You’ll make time if it is important.  It is important to find time for yourself after the baby is born.  Whether you spend that exercising, reading, shopping, or whatever, you need to remember yourself as individual and not just a mommy, wife, maid, cook, or milk maker.    

As for fashion during pregnancy, it seems pretty universal that if you were fashionable before you got pregnant that you’d also try to do so during pregnancy.  Descriptive phrases such as “cute” or “glowing” seem to replace “pretty or “sexy”.  Unfortunately, many women do not feel sexy or have partners that are less interested in them sexually during pregnancy.  It seems that men act like that possibly out of fear of harming the baby (or possibly because they are jerks).  Other women feel a blossoming during pregnancy and really exude an attractive, happy glow. In a past column, I tore up some companies for not offering bigger maternity choices for plus-size women.  The truth is, there are going to be days when nothing fits right.  Other days, you may feel “cute” and “glowing” with your clothing choices.  As my friend Sara in Georgia says, “Remember your hormones are out of whack!”   Your feelings and actions are all tied into those crazy hormones and some days are just going to be tough!

I read something striking in one of those forwarded-way-too-many-times email messages.  It said something like “I loved my body during pregnancy because it was the only time that I could assist God in creating a miracle.”  Pause and think about that.  You assisted in creating a miracle…. How humbling is that?  Whether you believe in a higher power or not, if you have ever had the pleasure of feeling a life grow inside of you… you have assisted in a miracle. Many times during pregnancy I would feel my baby move inside of me and feel overwhelmed with love and honor.  And since he was born, I ask myself each day what I did to deserve him.  If you are pregnant now and feel like a circus tent, know that you are a beautiful miracle maker.  Remember, more now than ever, that it is what’s inside that counts. 

Monica Rasso © 2006

Elegant Plus maintains a plus-size maternity clothing directory for those looking for something to wear during those beautiful, glowing months.

Monica has recently started a new home based business allowing her to both create a safe environment for her precious baby boy and spend more time at home. Find out more about the environmentally safe products she sells or learn how you can start your own home based business by visiting: Melaleuca and Safe Healthy Family .

Popularity: 8% [?]