September 1, 2006
Parenting: Guiding Your Child’s Wardrobe
Parenting…. Plus Style
Guiding Your Child’s Wardrobe
As the new school year approaches, I project that there will be at least 15 million arguments each day between parents and their children on what they should wear. How do I figure that? Well, according to the US Census bureau in 2004, there are 293.5 million people in America. About 60 million of those are children under age 14. As I recall the many “discussions” my mom had with my brother and I on our wardrobe selections, I really think 15 million is being generous! How many of you would like to avoid some arguments this year? Read on and work your magic!
Clothes have always been a means for expression. Toddlers (and some husband) try to run naked whenever possible. Preschoolers enjoying wearing pajamas all day, while many elementary students desire comfort over fashion. The really fun youngsters like to wear Princess or Superman costumes the entire day… including class picture day! From what I have read, we should encourage our children’s creativity and allow them to express themselves with their clothing (obviously, as long as the private parts are covered). But what do we do when today is our family reunion, or even more practically, if it is December and your child wants to wear a swimsuit and flippers to go to grandma’s house?!?!
In the same way that we teach our children manners, we must show them that certain things are acceptable in the comforts of your home, while other rules apply to what is acceptable in public. You must set guidelines and lead by example. Here are some general examples to consider:
- Clothes must be weather appropriate. No swimwear in December or winter coats in August.
- Clothes and accessories must not endanger the child or others. No spikes on the school bus!
- Clothes (and makeup) must be age-appropriate. I will not even list all the dangers involved when children misrepresent their age or maturity level.
We must encourage our children to make acceptable choices by providing options that fit within the guidelines. If it is acceptable for girls to wear Capri pants to school, then allow your daughter to select which color and, if it is in your budget, possibly the brand name. If your child has a favorite t-shirt that is getting tattered and torn, suggest buying a similar one to replace the old one.
How do we change habits that have already been set? Repetition becomes a habit in as little as three months time. For example, if it is in your routine to dress up for church on Sunday, generally your kids will not fight you much on this. You have to make it a habit to differentiate between “types” of clothing, such as “school clothes” or “play clothes.” Make up your own category as needed. Help your child to establish a habit of wearing certain clothes only at the appropriate times.
There are many esteem issues that are reflected in your child’s clothing selection. If your child selects an image that you do not understand or agree with, you may want to spend some time getting to know why this image is important to them or what attracts them to a certain look. Try not to stereotype. If you son goes Goth and wears all black, listen to why he prefers that look. You may choose to explain that unfortunately our society views and judges people on their appearance. I do not have a PhD in child psychology, but I do know that you can either accept that the clothes do not make the person or you can accept that children need our guidance and are sometimes not mature enough to make certain selections themselves.
We love our children above all. In loving them, we must set rules to protect them. We want our rules to be decent, fair, and so acceptable that do not seem like “rules” but rather “guideline” whereby children feel that they are expressing themselves as they wish.
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Monica Rasso © 2006
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