Plus-Size Fertility

by Brette Sember for Elegant Plus Magazine

The decision to become a parent is an exciting one. You and your wonderful man are going to create new life together through the power of your love. It’s a heady feeling and one that definitely can bring you closer together. But if you’re a plus-size woman, you may worry about what kind of impact your weight will have on getting pregnant.

Schedule a Pre-Conception Physical

Make an appointment to see your gynecologist before you toss that birth control out the window. It is now recommended that all women have a pre-conception check up to discuss medications, lifestyle changes, and any possible stumbling blocks to conception that they might face. As a plus-sized woman, one of things your physician will likely discuss with you is weight. Being overweight can cause irregularities with your cycle and suppress ovulation. It’s likely that you’ll be encouraged to get close to your ideal weight by your doctor (according to body mass index charts), but losing even 10 pounds can have a significant positive impact on fertility for many women. Diet drugs are an absolute no-no though when trying to conceive.

Losing weight is a personal choice (and for many women, a difficult path), so be sure to weigh your own feelings into the decision. It’s also important to note that too much weight loss too quickly can make it difficult to conceive.

Discuss Major Causes of Fertility Problems

When you see your physician, it is a good idea to ask about two common medical issues that impact the ability to conceive for many plus-size women. If you have never had your thyroid tested, ask for a complete thyroid profile (the traditional TSH test is NOT enough because an underactive thyroid sometimes is only detected with thyroid antibody levels). An underactive or overactive thyroid can impair fertility and also cause problems during pregnancy. Overweight women are most likely to experience an underactive thyroid since the failure of thyroid to function properly can lead to weight gain. Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, the most common form of underactive thyroid, is five times more prevalent in women than in men. 

You should also discuss Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) with your physician. Between five and ten percent of all women of childbearing age have PCOS, which is a complicated metabolism and hormone imbalance. Symptoms include infrequent or irregular cycles, acne, facial hair, high cholesterol, thinning hair, skin tags, and sleep apnea. PCOS is a leading cause of infertility in overweight women (and there is a higher incidence of it in overweight women), because the imbalance of male and female hormones makes it difficult to get pregnant.

Some women find they have both of these problems, creating a double whammy. These disorders are things that many physicians are not as aware of as they should be, so asking to be tested for both will offer you peace of mind about your own fertility.

Make a Trip to the Drugstore

Your physician will prescribe prenatal vitamins for you, an important way to make sure you will have a healthy pregnancy. While prenatal vitamins are important, there is some research to suggest that the typical prenatal vitamin does not contain enough folic acid to provide protection in overweight women against neural tube defects in the baby. Some physicians believe plus-size women should take additional folic acid supplements (since it is a harmless vitamin) along with their prenatal vitamins in order to obtain full protection. Ask your physician about a higher dose of folic acid.

Track Your Cycle

While trying to get pregnant can be a romantic and exciting proposition, there is a science to it. Learning how to maximize your cycles can mean getting pregnant more quickly. Start tracking your basal body temperature each morning before you get up. Talk to your physician about how to read this chart (essentially you’re looking for a temperature drop, then an increase of at least .4 degrees, which indicates ovulation). Over the counter ovulation predictor kits are also a valuable tool. The key is to try to have sex at least every other day during the five days before you ovulate and the two days after. For more information, see www.FertilityPlus.org.

Stay Positive

Feeling good about your body and keeping a positive outlook will not only ease stress (which has been shown to have a negative effect on fertility), but will help you stay happy as you begin trying to get pregnant. Many women hope they will get pregnant right away, but in actuality there is only a 25% chance of getting pregnant each month, so you may have a long road ahead of you. Make time for your relationship and for yourself and try not to let all your hopes and happiness ride on that monthly pregnancy test.

Staying positive about your body is key, because many full-figured women often have low self-esteem. This is the time in your life when you should appreciate the amazing things your body can do, and learn to love it for what it is.

When to Seek Help

According to the CDC, 55% of couples get pregnant within three months, 72% within six months and 85% within one year. The standard advice is to try for a year before seeking assistance, but overweight women should seek assistance sooner, since weight can impair ovulation. If you do not ovulate (based on your basal body temperature chart or ovulation predictor kits), you should call your physician immediately. If you are over age 35 you also should not wait a year, since your window of opportunity is getting smaller.

Recommended Books

About the Author

Brette Sember is a plus-size mom of two and co-author of Your Plus-Size Pregnancy: The Ultimate Guide for the Full-Figured Expectant Mom (Barricade Books, 2005). Her web site, www.YourPlusSizePregnancy.com, contains a section on plus-size fertility.

Popularity: 19% [?]

Plus-Size Pregnancy Is a Positive Experience

by Brette Sember for Elegant Plus Magazine 

Pregnancy is one of the most special times in a woman’s life, yet to read some of the reports in the media, you would think that being plus-sized and pregnant is dangerous, unhealthy, and risky. Contrary to what is often reported, it is absolutely possible to be plus-sized, have a healthy pregnancy, and feel good about yourself. 

 Find a health care provider you trust who treats you with respect. Many plus-size women relate stories of doctors and nurses who treated them like second-class citizens. It is essential that you find a health care provider (doctor or midwife) who is size-friendly and does not categorize you as high risk or subject you to unnecessary tests just because of your size. Your health care provider should be someone with whom you can talk openly and trust completely. Make sure you’re comfortable not only with the doctor or midwife, but with the office staff as well. A nurse who makes you miserable during weigh-ins can turn a prenatal visit into something you dread.

Listen to what your trusted health care provider recommends. Plus-size women are usually encouraged to gain slightly less weight during pregnancy than other women. Listening to this recommendation can greatly reduce the chance of problems during pregnancy. Most physicians agree that plus-size women need to gain weight during pregnancy, so anyone who tells you to lose weight or not gain at all is misinformed. Discuss any prenatal tests with your health care provider and understand exactly what your risks are. Plus-size moms do have higher rates of some problems, but with good medical care, a healthy pregnancy and absolutely perfect baby are definitely the norm. 

Find maternity clothes that make you feel good about yourself.  Plus-size maternity clothes do exist! Many plus-size moms feel discouraged by the lack of attractive and modern maternity clothes in their size. Some moms opt to wear larger regular clothes (and chafe at the suggestion that they should just wear their husband’s clothes – which may not fit), but doing so can add to “invisible pregnancy syndrome”, where you’re pregnant, but no one can tell and they just assume you’re fat and frumpy. Dressing in clothes that emphasize your pregnant belly tells the world your joyful news and helps you feel proud of the wonderful baby growing inside you. More and more designers and stores are waking up to the need for attractive plus-size maternity clothes. 

Love your body. Your body is performing a miracle right now. Lots of plus-size women hate their bodies or resent them. This is the one time in your life where you absolutely cannot diet and have no choice but to embrace your changing shape. You’ve got to step up and tell yourself, “This is who I am and I am beautiful.” Love your body as you love your baby. Plus-size pregnant women are gorgeous and shapely and their bodies deserve just as much admiration and respect as other pregnant bodies. Adopting a positive mentality about the important work your body is doing will go a long way to helping you feel good about yourself. 

Take time to enjoy your pregnancy.  Pregnancy is a fleeting time – as long as those nine months seem right now, they will go by in the blink of an eye. Keep a pregnancy journal and make time to just sit and feel the baby move. Be sure to take some photos. Lots of plus-size pregnant moms are hesitant to get in front of a camera, but when it’s over, you’ll wish you had photos to show your child. Some moms enjoy going for additional (non-medical) ultrasounds at malls or using a home Doppler to listen to their baby’s heartbeat at home. Staying focused on your pregnancy will remind of the joyful reason for all you’re going through.

Get support. It’s easy to feel as if you are alone when you’re pregnant and plus-sized. All of the pregnancy magazines are filled with photos of stick women with basketballs attached to their bellies. Join an online support group for plus-sized moms and find out that you truly are not alone (find them at BabyCenter.com, FertilityPlus.org, and YourPlusSizePregnancy.com). Talk to women in your family who have similar body shapes – they’ve been there and can offer support and advice. Open up about how you feel to your partner, who loves your body and can help reassure you that you are a gorgeous woman. Keeping it all inside will only make you feel worse. Lean on others and let them help you feel good about yourself.

Popularity: 15% [?]

Womb to Grow, Pages from a Curvy Mom’s Life
 Society, Weight and Pregnancy
by Monica Rasso, Regular Contributing Author at Elegant Plus Magazine

Pregnancy is one of the few times in our lives that it is “acceptable” to be overweight. Or is it? When browsing through pregnancy magazines, maternity catalogs, and TV commercials, do any of those models really seem overweight (besides the tight, yet bulging belly)?

It seems there is an underground movement to ‘stay thin’ while pregnant. Last month I was flipping through the channels and became temporarily hooked on a show called Life & Style. This show is hosted by four well-known women with a format similar to The View and a goal of informing viewers on how to live life with style. The particular segment that caught my attention focused on women who are attempting to stay fit and thin while pregnant. The discussion focused on sacrificing the health and growth of an unborn child just to remain thin.

Pregnant, yet still thin, photos of stars such as Gweneth Paltrow and Sarah Jessica Parker grace the pages and covers of popular magazines giving readers the false idea that these goddesses of the big screen are not gaining any weight, except for that in their baby belly. Host Kimora Lee Simmons pointed out that ALL of the stars that she knows personally have gained 25-60 pounds during their pregnancy. She explained that the photos taken in these magazines are shot when the star has professional hair, makeup and styling that makes them appear thinner. Even if the women do gain weight, the thin images we see, are those that many readers aspire to imitate.

As a professional model, I hope to model maternity clothes during my pregnancy. Although I am proud of my body and have a great self image, I find myself questioning whether or not plus models are accepted in the one area of modeling that I thought we would FOR SURE be accepted. An area where it is all around acceptable and favorable to be chubby and cute! But look in the maternity catalogs and pregnancy magazines. Beautiful, yet thin, models grace the pages in all the editorials and advertising. Is this yet another area where the real, curvy woman is unaccepted?!

I contacted the premier agency for pregnant models, Expecting Models. Twice I sent in my best headshots, full body shots, and resume. I did not hear anything. As I perused the pages of their website, my heart dropped as I saw that there were no plus models represented. I called Brian, an agent at the Expecting Models, and asked if my photos had been received, but more importantly, since I assumed they were not interested in my look due to their lack of response, to discuss the use of plus models in maternity modeling.

As we all know, any successful business becomes that way by providing their clients what they ask for. It seems that the advertising companies rarely look for plus models to show their maternity products, thus the maternity agencies rarely have a need to sign a plus model. Until the companies that sell maternity products acknowledge that over 60% of their customers are plus-sized individuals that relate better to Plus-size images, the modeling agencies will continue to hire thinner, high fashion models because that is the smart thing to do financially!

In all fairness, there are companies such as Fashion Bug that primarily use plus models in their advertising. I LOVE their ads! The most recent publication of Figure Magazine had a terrific 5-page editorial spread featuring a curvy model with a general softness about her. She looked like she could give a great hug! Someone we can relate to! The loving neighbor next door! In summary, although our society has welcomed the real woman into many aspects of advertising, film, music, and TV, there is still a great lack of acceptance in the pregnancy advertising area. It is such a small area of advertising, but pregnancy is such an important time for us to feel beautiful and accepted at our size. Let’s all do what we can to further the acceptance of curvy, real women in maternity advertising. Send emails and letters to companies such as JC Penney , the rest of the companies listed in the Elegant Plus Maternity Clothing Directory and any other companies where you feel that the real woman should be represented in advertising.

Since the initial publication of this article Brian Marggraf of Expecting Models has responded that “we do embrace women and models of all sizes, from petite to plus-size, and we, Expecting Models, would love to see the industry expand in that way… we have represented Plus-size models in the past, but not so much lately. If the industry was more interested in Plus-size models, we would definitely sign and promote them… to fill that need…” (April 2006)

Popularity: 9% [?]

Womb to Grow, Pages from a Curvy Mom’s Life
 Pregnant and Nothing to Wear

by Monica Rasso for ElegantPlus.com

On my darkest day of pregnancy, somewhere in my ninth or tenth month (yes, there are 10 months of pregnancy… go count!), I would muffle my cries in my pillow while tending a gladiator-beaten back and think “Am I the only person who feels like a lopsided whale?”  There were no clothes that fit me right.  Don’t even ask about undergarments!  I was hungry, but nothing sounded good.  Tired, but no position was comfortable.  Then after a few minutes of self-pity, the guilt of my selfishness would hit me.  There was a life forming inside of me.  And I would tell myself that all I have to do is make it just a few more weeks. 

 I asked some of my friends who recently had children or are presently pregnant to answer a few questions for me so that I could write this column.  From what my friends have shared with me, whether we gained 15 or 80 pounds during pregnancy, somewhere in the ninth month, each one of us wanted that kid to pop out a few weeks early!  But even those with the worst self-esteem during pregnancy are so humbled and proud to be creating a life.  One of my friends said “even though I was fat according to my own body standards, I LOVED being pregnant!”  I discovered that even though we feared the uncertain, were anxious about the future, and complained of our ailments during pregnancy… somehow all of that is resolved as soon as that baby is placed in our arms.          

So how much weight is the “right” amount to gain?  What a great question.  The truth is that as long as your doctor says that you are healthy and you feel good, you’re doing fine.  The scary part comes when pregnant women have to deal with high cholesterol, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, or anything else that puts her life or her baby’s life in danger.  Other than that, there is no “right” amount to gain.    

 There are self-esteem issues that go along with any weight gain, whether during pregnancy or not.  To my surprise, what I’ve learned is that most women are accepting of the temporary gain.  A weight gain of 40, 60, or 80 lbs is not the end of the world.  Keep in mind, no matter how much you have gained that many, many women have gained as much weight or more than you have. The words “fat” and “pregnant” are not synonymous.   If you are pregnant, you are not fat.  Period.   Don’t focus on a number on a scale.  Instead, focus on eating right during pregnancy and worry about perfecting your health later.  That will probably include losing weight, but it is more about getting your own body back (during pregnancy it is shared with a baby).   

Ah, then the “later” arrives.  Many of my friends have lost all or most of their “baby weight” within the first year after the baby is born.  But we all agree that our bodies are just, well…. different.  All of us struggle with the waistline changes and an overall “drooping” of body parts.  Most have stretch marks.  I had a lot of skin discoloration that thankfully went away within three months.  You either have to accept the changes or work to change them.  Don’t use the excuse “if I only had more time.”  You’ll make time if it is important.  It is important to find time for yourself after the baby is born.  Whether you spend that exercising, reading, shopping, or whatever, you need to remember yourself as individual and not just a mommy, wife, maid, cook, or milk maker.    

As for fashion during pregnancy, it seems pretty universal that if you were fashionable before you got pregnant that you’d also try to do so during pregnancy.  Descriptive phrases such as “cute” or “glowing” seem to replace “pretty or “sexy”.  Unfortunately, many women do not feel sexy or have partners that are less interested in them sexually during pregnancy.  It seems that men act like that possibly out of fear of harming the baby (or possibly because they are jerks).  Other women feel a blossoming during pregnancy and really exude an attractive, happy glow. In a past column, I tore up some companies for not offering bigger maternity choices for plus-size women.  The truth is, there are going to be days when nothing fits right.  Other days, you may feel “cute” and “glowing” with your clothing choices.  As my friend Sara in Georgia says, “Remember your hormones are out of whack!”   Your feelings and actions are all tied into those crazy hormones and some days are just going to be tough!

I read something striking in one of those forwarded-way-too-many-times email messages.  It said something like “I loved my body during pregnancy because it was the only time that I could assist God in creating a miracle.”  Pause and think about that.  You assisted in creating a miracle…. How humbling is that?  Whether you believe in a higher power or not, if you have ever had the pleasure of feeling a life grow inside of you… you have assisted in a miracle. Many times during pregnancy I would feel my baby move inside of me and feel overwhelmed with love and honor.  And since he was born, I ask myself each day what I did to deserve him.  If you are pregnant now and feel like a circus tent, know that you are a beautiful miracle maker.  Remember, more now than ever, that it is what’s inside that counts. 

Monica Rasso © 2006

Elegant Plus maintains a plus-size maternity clothing directory for those looking for something to wear during those beautiful, glowing months.

Monica has recently started a new home based business allowing her to both create a safe environment for her precious baby boy and spend more time at home. Find out more about the environmentally safe products she sells or learn how you can start your own home based business by visiting: Melaleuca and Safe Healthy Family .

Popularity: 8% [?]