Self-Esteem and Body Image: Creating Powerful Girls, Part I

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Kiss My Assets Column at Elegant Plus Magazine

Creating  Powerful Girls

by Dr. Robyn Silverman

It’s that time again. The diet commercials are in full force which can only mean two things; bathing suit season is right around the corner and nationwide body image is getting ready to plummet. Many adults worry that between all the talk about buff bodies and diet plans, girls will slip into a self esteem slump. How can we help girls to elevate their self worth without needing to go on and on about loving your body?

Confidence and self worth, both positive and negative, can influence how a person feels, thinks, and acts throughout childhood and adulthood. Those who have strong feelings of confidence and high self worth will feel more positive about themselves, think more positively, and act and behave more positively than those who have low self confidence and low self worth. In addition, girls with strong feelings of confidence and high self worth will like who they see in the mirror each day and know that they are worthy of love.

Girls are looking to the women in their lives to show them the ropes. Whether you are a parent, big sister, teacher, or friend of a girl, you can inspire girls to become confident in themselves by following these tips:

Help them to realize her unique gifts:

Everyone is talented or special in some way. While we are not all little Einsteins or mini- Monets, everyone has something to offer. Let her know that you appreciate their gifts. Allow her to show you what she can do—without doing it for her! She will get better with time. Hang up artwork, projects, or awards that exhibit these gifts so that your child knows that you value her special talents. Creating a Wall of Fame will allow her to see all of her accomplishments.

Be present:

When a girl is sharing new knowledge or new gifts, pay attention! This is the time to shut off the TV and the cell phone. When you do this, she will know that she is important and worthy of your undivided attention.

Don’t over-praise:

You can let her know that she is special without over-praising. Not everything she does is worthy of the Wall of Fame. She can’t always be super, perfect and fantastic. When you praise a girl when praise is due, she will know you are being genuine and that she has really done a good job.

Be a RAD role model (Reliable, Accountable, and Dependable):

While you may not always be available when she needs you, create a pattern of responsiveness and responsibility. Be on time, be reliable, and follow through with what you say you are going to do. When you are a RAD role model, she will know that she can count on you and that she is worthy of your follow through. She will also learn what it means to be a positive role model to others.

Praise effort:

It may be easy to focus on a high mark on a paper or a gold medal, but it’s really important to praise effort instead of results. When a girl knows that she has worked hard and that hard work is praised, she will likely keep putting in the effort to make the accomplishment. When we are results driven, failure can stop us in our tracks and make us give up for fear of failing once again.

When we take the time to instill confidence in girls, they become a little bit stronger everyday. Then they can call upon that strength when they are feeling low or bombarded with negative, body-bashing messages. The strength of positive mentors carries on even when you’re not around!

Until next time (and the next 5 tips)!

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About the Author

Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman is a Massachusetts-based child and adolescent development specialist and body image expert whose programs and services are used worldwide. She is also a success coach for parents and educators, who are looking to achieve their goals, improve their lives or improve the lives of others. She is a writer and professional speaker who presents to PTAs, schools, businesses and organizations that focus on children or families. Interested in doing some coaching with Dr. Robyn or having Dr. Robyn present a seminar at your school or business? Go to DrRobynSilverman.com for more information.

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Fitting in While Standing Out

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7-tips-cheer.jpgFitting in While Standing Out:
7 Tips to Cope with your Child’s Need to be “Perfect” in a Win-at-All-Costs World

by Dr. Robyn Silverman, Kiss My Assets Columnist for Elegant Plus Magazine

It was one of those moments when your mouth just hangs open. Joanne, mother of Tina, age 6, wrote to me in disbelief. “My daughter’s cheerleading coach told her that she needs to slim down if she wants to be a winner. Tina just cried. When I spoke to the coach she told me, ‘these girls need to be able to fit into these cute little outfits. (She showed me one). There is nothing cute about bulges and bumps on six year old girls…even if you call it baby fat.”

Sports can be a wonderful way for children to grow, learn, and develop as individuals, teammates, and leaders. But as parents, coaches, and educators we need to be very careful. Our weight-related behaviors, assumptions, and comments can have an incredible effect on a child’s body esteem, health, and long term feelings of self worth. Both boys and girls of every weight group can be affected.

With girls, involvement in aesthetic sports like gymnastics, figure skating, cheerleading, dance, and swimming, can have an impact on a child’s body esteem if coaches or parents are insensitive about looks and weight. Attire can be revealing, competition can invite body-oriented comments, involvement can be contingent on “fitting” a certain stereotype, and high scores can be dependant on body size and weight. 

Plenty of parents have come to me after their instructor told them that their child didn’t have the right body for ballet or the coach told them that “chubby girls don’t win competitions.” Others have told me of the embarrassment their children face when their weights are posted in front of everyone in the spirit of “dieting by peer pressure.”

Girls have complained about their fear of getting their period because they feel that their chosen sport frowns upon curves and breasts. Many admit to weight loss strategies even at a young age. Pressure to “fit in” to the perfect body standard can be linked to improper dieting, over-exercising, delayed physical maturation, laxative use, purging (vomiting), and eating disorders. 

Boys can suffer from poor body esteem just like girls. Involvement in weight class competition sports like wrestling and boxing, contact sports like football or hockey, or weight sensitive sports like cycling or running can invite body scrutiny. A child might learn from teammates that rapid weight loss is customary in preparation for a weight-class-based competition. Boys participating in contact sports might feel pressure to “bulk up.” Still others involved in weight sensitive sports like cycling or running, in which low weight can give you a competitive-edge, may feel pressure to senselessly diet or use performance-enhancing drugs to keep up. Some coaches may not know what’s going on or simply choose to turn the other way.

As parents, what can we do?

  1. Evaluate your own thoughts: Do you have a “win-at-all-costs” attitude? If so, you may be sending a message to your child that s/he needs to do whatever it takes to win, even if that means unnecessary dieting, bulking up, or using performance-enhancing drugs. Keep winning in perspective and remember the real reason your child is involved in sports.
  2. Talk to your child: Be sure s/he understands your feelings about winning-at-all-costs and the dangers that can invite. Put “perfect” in perspective. Let your child know that if s/he ever feels pressured to alter his or her body in any way, to come talk to you.
  3. Interview the coach: Whether you are dealing with an after-school program or an in-school extra-curricular, you have a right to interview the coach privately. You might ask the coach about his or her opinions regarding weight, weigh-ins, dieting, uniforms, winning, puberty, nutrition, performance-enhancing drugs, and coaching philosophy. How does s/he convey his or her views to the children?
  4. Build character: If you start teaching character-building skills while your children young, they will take those lessons of self-respect, assertiveness, leadership, and confidence with them into any activity they do. Teach these lessons at home and find a sports program or activity program that integrates character education into their lesson plans each week. This way, your children will understand that sports are more about building character than about fitting into the ideal body type.
  5. Avoid Comparisons: As parents and coaches we need to be careful of comparing our children’s body shapes and weights to others. Our children should be focused on making themselves better rather than being thinner or more muscular than someone else. Every child matures at a different rate. Maturation invites weight gain that is both normal and healthy. When we compare our children based on body size and shape it can be both hurtful and destructive.
  6. Talk to a doctor: If a coach has asked a child to get on a special diet of any kind, speak to your pediatrician or pediatric nutritionist. Children need a certain number of calories, protein, fluid intake, carbohydrate, and vitamins for normal growth and health.
  7. Ensure developmental sensitivity: If your pubescent daughter is involved with an activity in which the “perfect body” for competition is thought to be a prepubescent one, be sure that her coach is sensitive to normal maturation changes. Similarly, if your son is involved in a sport in which the “ideal body” is a mature muscular one, be sure that the coach is sensitive to varying rates of growth and body types. How is body size and shape handled in these situations? How are children made to feel when it comes to these maturational factors that they can not control?

There is a wide array of sports and activities for children of all ages. Many sports and after-school centers offer wonderful programs with long-lasting benefits. A great coach can be a mentor, a friend, a leader, and an inspiration. However, children are impressionable. Even subtle messages about weight and shape in these athletic arenas can impact our children’s behavior, body esteem and feelings of self worth. Doing a little preventative homework and being clear about your own views can ensure a positive experience for everyone.

© Dr. Robyn Siliverman: Please do not reprint in any form - electronic or print - without permission from the author.

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This article first appeared in Baystate Parent Magazine . Reprinted with permission at Elegant Plus Magazine.

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About the Author

Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman is a Massachusetts-based child and adolescent development specialist and body image expert whose programs and services are used worldwide. She is also a success coach for parents and educators, who are looking to achieve their goals, improve their lives or improve the lives of others. She is a writer and professional speaker who presents to PTAs, schools, businesses and organizations that focus on children or families. Interested in doing some coaching with Dr. Robyn or having Dr. Robyn present a seminar at your school or business? Go to DrRobynSilverman.com for more information.

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“I’m So With You on That. I am Too Fat”

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Real women with Real bodies in the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty

“I’m So With You on That. I am Too Fat” or A Mother’s View of Body Image from the Trenches

by Lisa Klobucar, Elegant Plus Magazine “Hello Gorgeous! Learning to Love Your Curves” Columnist

Poof! Summer’s over, did you enjoy it? The summer fun, the trips to the pools and parks? The family reunions, cookouts and fireworks…. I hope so, because it’s time for books, homework and of course Christmas is just around the corner. But that’s a whole other column.

In June, long before September makes her grand entrance I start planning and thinking about the upcoming school year. As a divorced mom of two girls I have always made it a staple of my house to show and instill in my girls the importance of a healthy self-esteem. Since children spend about 75% of their time at school with teachers and friends, it’s important that my girls know that they are loved; and, when they look in the mirror that they love what they see looking back a them too. I want them to feel secure with themselves. As we all know, peer pressure can change a child’s whole outlook not just about school but more importantly about how they see and project themselves.

During the summer something interesting happened. My house became the, “it” house. You know, the house where all the kids like to hang out. How and why this happened, who knows? My girls and I live in a small three bedroom townhouse. However, at any given point in time during the summer I had at least one or more extra children in my house. Now I am not some cool, easy going, laid back mom. My girls will tell you I am rather strict. Yet there are several little girls who have no problem being in my home, not only visiting and playing with my girls, but cleaning and straightening up the messes they make.

One very hot and fun filled weekend I had four giggling, “ohh he’s cute, let’s wear the same color” girls in my house. I was in a grocery store with my tribe, half-listening to them laugh and banter, discuss likes/dislikes about who is cute (by the way, Johnny Depp is hot all four agreed).  Suddenly one of the girls who is ten years old said, ” I need to lose ten pounds.” Then my eleven year old states, “I am so with you on that. I am too fat.” I stopped dead in my tracks, grocery cart and all, as all four girls promptly walked into me.

I turned and looked at them. All four are different, shapes, sizes, colors… all beautiful, smiling and for the most part happy. I looked at the two oldest girls and asked, “Why do you think you are fat and need to lose weight?” I was very interested to hear what their answers might be, especially since one of the two who thought she was fat was my own child. The ten year old stated that her mother was always lamenting to her and whoever else would listen that she (the mom) was too fat and needed to lose ten pounds. I immediately saw that the mother of this child had transferred her own poor self image onto her child, a child that was and is still growing and developing.

I then asked my own daughter, why she thought she was fat. My daughter asked if she and could talk about it later. I said, “Of course, “  making sure that they all knew I wasn’t upset, just very interested in their answers. Later that evening as the girls were getting ready to go to sleep for the night, my daughter came into my room and we talked. She said that she didn’t think she was fat, but she wanted to support her friend. She said that her friend is always complaining about her weight. Now I will have you know that the ten year old is thin and wears a girls size 12, all very right for her body and size. My daughter however, trying to be a good friend and be supportive thought that agreeing with her friend on being fat would somehow ease the ten year old’s dislike of herself.

The next day after all the girls had gone home, I asked my daughter, “What do you see when you look in the mirror?” Of course I get the, “Oh mom, do I have to answer this now” statement. But she walked to the full length mirror in the hall and said, “I’m cute. I have great hair, a dazzling smile.”  I asked her, do you really think you are fat? My daughter said, “No” but she went on to add that she has seen kids who are built smaller than she is get teased because of their weight.

This school year my oldest enters junior high. This will certainly be a test of wills for both my daughter and myself. Girls around this time tend to change, due to hormones and other developments that are going on. Cliques come into play. The issue of being popular also starts to rear it’s head. And we cannot forget that boys start to notice girls and vice versa. My daughter’s sense of self will be tested, I am sure. While I have done my best to prepare my daughter for what may or may not happen. In the end it will be up to her to decide how she will handle and carry herself with her peers. I have always been a big girl. I was a BBW, before the term BBW was even brought into existence. If nothing else, I believe that as a parent I lead by example. I have always let my girls see me as I am -  a beautiful, confident woman with no self deprecation in constant fat, diet and weight-loss talk.  I think that is one of the best things I can do  to let them know that no one body is “perfect” and that is OK.  I also have faith in my oldest. She is like me in many respects. The girl has chutzpah and moxy, OY!

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6 Tips to Help your Child Cope with Feeling Fat in a “Thin is In” World

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Six Tips to Help your Child Cope with Feeling Fat in a “Thin is In” World

By Dr. Robyn Silverman, Kiss My Assets Column at Elegant Plus Magazine

[This article was first published in Bay State Parent magazine as a Parenting 1,2,3 article]

You probably wouldn’t believe it if you had heard it yourself. MaryBeth, a mother of three, came to me in a panic. Her daughter, Madeline, who had recently turned six years old, had been standing outside by the pool with her two friends, Hallie and Rachel, when the snubbing began. Marybeth witnessed Madeline’s two friends slapping their bellies and whispering to each other. Hallie spoke first. “You can’t be our friend anymore, Maddie, ‘cause you’re 55 pounds and we’re only 45 and 47 ½ pounds.” Rachel continued, “Yeah, 6 year olds like us shouldn’t weigh more than 50 pounds. If you are, it means you’re fat… and fat people are ugly.” At that, Madeline ran to her Mom, and whimpered, “Mommy, am I fat and ugly?” while the other girls jumped into the pool.

As a body image and child development specialist, I believe I have heard it all. Too fat. Too short. Too flat. Too big. Too scrawny. These stories, while plentiful, are never easy to hear. 

We used to think that “fitting in” had mostly to do with how your personality meshes with your friends. But in today’s world, when everywhere from Hollywood to New York is preaching extreme thinness, “fitting in” seems to have more to do with how you appear on the outside rather than who you are the inside. And, unfortunately, those parents who thought that they didn’t have to worry about body image issues until their children became teens are being sideswiped in the head by a large dose of reality. 

No child should ever feel that s/he is “worth less” because of how s/he looks. When it comes to society’s messages that “thin is in” and “fat is faulty” what can we do to help our children remember that it’s what’s inside that counts?

Tip 1. Show children that everyone comes in different sizes

Let them know that on the normal bell curve for weight, children fall in all different places. Some are lighter and some are heavier. It’s normal for children to gain weight at different rates and at different times during their childhood. Some shoot up like weeds and then gain weight while others gain weight and then grow taller. What’s important is that each child is healthy and active NOT that each child is at the average weight for his or her age group. Of course, if you’re concerned about your child’s weight or weight progression, contact your pediatrician for advice.

Tip 2. Don’t compare

Even within families, siblings will put on weight at different times and at different rates. Pointing out that one of your children is putting weight on faster or is heavier than another sibling, can be interpreted as a criticism that s/he is not fitting in to what is “normal.” Given societal messages regarding dieting and thinness, especially those delivered to young girls, it’s easy for children to interpret seemingly innocuous comparative comments as judgments of a child’s worth.

Tip 3. Watch the media that comes into your house

A lot of magazines and TV shows hail thin frames and denigrate bodies that are not thin enough according to Hollywood standards. When someone once said, “a picture’s worth a thousand words” they were right. Research shows that media has a large impact on the way children feel about themselves and how they judge others. If you see something that celebrates very thin figures or denigrates those who are not thin, talk about it and ask your children what their take is on the subject. TV shows and books that confirm that people come in all shapes and sizes, can also be extremely helpful. (I use a self-published book for my own presentations on this topic. If interested, please contact me directly through www.DrRobynSilverman.com)

Tip 4. Be aware of your own language and behaviors

 If you’re hyper-focused on weight and looks, your child will pick up on it. As they say, “monkey see, monkey do.” You are your children’s role model and superhero. They want to be just like you and they want you to be proud of them. So when a parent looks in the mirror and says “yuck,” their children may wonder if you think the same thing about them. Young people follow your lead so be sure to show them what a healthy body image (not just a healthy lifestyle) looks like.

Tip 5. Expose them to different activities and people

 When children have the opportunity to meet different kinds of people and do different activities, they learn about and develop strengths. Other people show them that children can be good at all different things and how someone looks does not determine their worth or their abilities. A wide array of activities like team sports, martial arts, hip-hop dance and drama can help children develop confidence in what they can do and who they can be without hyper-focusing on weight and appearance.

Tip 6. Stress your values

 Raising your children to determine their true friends by who they are and not by how they look is helpful in several ways. First, they’ll attract people who think similarly. Second, they’ll be more apt to judge themselves by the strength of their values rather than how thin they are. And third, they’ll be less apt to surround themselves with people who base friendship on appearance.

But most of all, be patient and supportive. Be prepared for your children to change shape and size often during childhood. Growing up and out can be confusing and even anxiety-provoking for children who are trying to “fit in.” Helping all young people feel worthwhile, valued and capable, no matter what weight they are, is vital to the development of positive body image and self esteem.

Body Image expert, Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman, is a Massachusetts-based child and adolescent development specialist whose programs and services are used worldwide. She is also a success coach for parents, adolescents, and educators, who are looking to achieve their goals, improve their lives or improve the lives of others. She is a writer and professional speaker who presents to PTAs, schools, parents, and organizations that focus on children or families. Interested in doing some coaching with Dr. Robyn or having Dr. Robyn present a seminar at your child’s school or at your business? Go to DrRobynSilverman.com for more information.

Popularity: 50% [?]

Fat… So? : Promoting health AND size-acceptance

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Fat… So? 

Human beings come in all sizes.  How can we promote health …. and size-acceptance in our schools?

by  Camille Jackson of Tolerance.org
Reprinted with permission at Elegant Plus Magazine

As the “War on Obesity” heats  up, in schools across the country kids who are heavier than their classmates experience size bias and even outright bullying from peers and adults.  And, school health programs can sometimes hurt more than they help. Experts from the size-acceptance community, whose views are often omitted from health debates, offer a fresh perspective: eat healthy foods, stay active, and don’t worry about your weight and size.

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 Article title based on Marilyn Wann’s book,  
  Fat! So? Because You Don’t Have to Apologize for Your Size

 ”I’m the biggest in my family and I have the best cholesterol and blood sugar,” announces Kevin, a junior at Sequoia High School in Redwood City, Calif. He has just walked an extra-long distance for a late lunch of salad topped with grilled chicken strips and ranch dressing, followed by chocolate chip cookies. He came to the school’s Teen Resource Center to make a point about stereotypes.

“I play three sports, I ride my bike, I walk everywhere and I’m still the same size,” he says, insisting his health is better than some of his thinner classmates.

Looking at his larger-than-average size, some doubt Kevin is as healthy as he claims. But Marlene Schwartz, co-director of the Yale Center for Eating and Weight Disorders, says it’s quite likely Kevin’s weight may not negatively affect his health.

“I believe if a child is eating a nutritionally balanced diet and is active, if he or she has a higher BMI [body mass index], it doesn’t matter,” says Schwartz.

Schwartz routinely hears people say, “If only fat people worked harder, they would lose weight.” But she and others challenge the hysteria surrounding the global “obesity epidemic,” which defines 17 percent of children age 2 to 19 as overweight.

Paul Campos, author of The Obesity Myth, argues that Americans are, in general, only 15 pounds heavier than they were 20 years ago. It is public health standards, not our bodies, that have changed, becoming more rigid in defining the majority of Americans as “overweight.”

That news is small consolation for students subjected to harassment and prejudice, sometimes unrelentingly, from peers and teachers because they are heavier than others. Many have been frightened into hating their bodies by grim medical reports about childhood obesity. Too many believe that dieting is the only solution, even though study after study shows dieting doesn’t work.

Michael Loewy, a psychology professor at the University of North Dakota, paints an unsettling picture in his essay Working with Fat Children in Schools: “It is amazing that so many fat children survive adolescence, given the hatred and meanness directed at them.”

‘I Put Myself Down’

At Sequoia High School’s Teen Resource Center, Dana Schuster, a speaker with the Health at Every Size program, has gathered a group of students to discuss how the war on obesity has taken a toll on their self-esteem.

“In my family they tell me, ‘You’d look nice if you were smaller,’” says Celia, 15.

“I think I put myself down more than anyone,” adds Rachel, 18, referring to the negative thoughts filling her head about her size.

One girl says she’s more confident and accepting of herself now that she’s in high school, yet she’s just finished a juice fast, essentially starving herself. “I felt good. I lost the 10 pounds,” she says.

Naomi, 16, listens quietly to other students’ comments about the frustrations of gym class and clothes shopping. Then she says simply, “It hurts when you weigh a lot.”

Victims of size discrimination often suffer from depression, anxiety and loneliness. They may also suffer from low self-esteem, voluntarily serving as the butt of jokes — the stereotypical funny fat kid.

“If they say things to you, it doesn’t matter,” says Max, one of two boys in the group, shrugging his shoulders. Max says he responds to insults with humor.

Naomi does, too. But she also has a more straightforward comeback: “I tell them, ‘It’s my body; if you don’t like it, don’t look at it.’”

ALL sizes

Children learn anti-fat attitudes from many sources, including adults who talk negatively about their own bodies or who allow size-based teasing to go unchecked.

“A lot of people who don’t have this [size] difference aren’t aware how painful it can be,” says Frances Berg, a nutritionist and international authority on weight and eating based in North Dakota. “When someone tells a fat joke, the response should not be to laugh, or even to be silent.”

Many students say teachers or other adults rarely speak up about size bias, embracing the myth that thin always is better than fat.

It’s a myth some see the medical community presenting as fact.

“If one already prejudges fat people as gluttonous or lazy, it is not very difficult to think that they are also sick,” writes J. Eric Oliver in Fat Politics. That means even a visit to the school nurse doesn’t feel safe for some fat kids who are used to the medical community trying to “fix” their size.

Connie Sobczak, executive director of Body Positive, a nonprofit based in Berkeley, Calif., that helps teens with body issues, says the medical community does a disservice to thin kids by focusing solely on kids who are overweight.

“There are so many [children of all sizes] who aren’t eating well, and not [being active],” Sobczak says. “We ignore all those children, then we focus and shame the fat children.”

Size-related stereotypes, of course, work both ways — against fat and thin kids.

“We can’t just talk about it as an issue for fat kids. The ones who are ‘perfect’ get overlooked, too. It’s hard for them to talk about being blond and thin and looking like Barbie,” says Debora Burgard, a California psychotherapist and creator of BodyPositive.com (unrelated to the Body Positive group in Berkeley). “They have a stereotyping problem, too.”

Those prone to believe one stereotype often are prone to embrace other stereotypes, as well.

“In fact,” writes Oliver in Fat Politics, “people who have strong anti-fat attitudes also tend to be more hostile toward minorities and the poor.”

Stigma-by-association also exists. A recent study by British psychologist Jason Halford shows that prejudice against fat people is so strong that biases are also formed against people who associate with fat people.

Fear of Fat

Responding to concerns about childhood obesity, John S. Martinez School in New Haven, Conn., was one of the first K-8 public schools in its district to rid its campus of junk food. Last year the school hosted a pilot program introducing more physical activity, healthier cafeteria foods and nutrition education.

The inner-city school with predominantly Latino students offers swim classes using the school’s state-of-the-art pool. Students also can earn 30 to 45 extra minutes of gym class each day. The school’s health clinic monitors each child’s health and weight loss.

One physical education teacher says she sees the effects of the obesity epidemic firsthand, with younger children being diagnosed with hypertension, diabetes and elevated cholesterol levels.

“Most of them get on the scales without problems,” she says, but for other students the process is “stressful” and “hard to approach.” She contacts parents to discuss the best ways to intervene.

One winter afternoon, with snowflakes swirling outside the windows, several 7th- and 8th-graders gather at the school to talk about what happens when their parents get that kind of call.

“I hate it,” says Michelle, 13. “My mother makes me drink diet soda.”

The 8th-graders say all these efforts to get or keep them thin — eliminating vending machines, serving salads for lunch, increasing their gym time — have increased their fear rather than reduced their weight.

Twelve-year-old Arianna worries about high cholesterol. The message she gets from her parents and her doctor is that she must lose weight to get healthy. “I get depressed if I think about it too much,” she says. When she’s depressed, Arianna confesses, she sneaks Snickers and Milky Ways.

Emily worries her extra weight could lead to a heart attack. “I’m not going to be big in high school,” says the 12-year-old, shaking her head from side to side. “No, I’m going to go on a diet.”

Focus on fitness, not weight

In 2003, Arkansas was the first state to require schools to chart its students’ BMIs. Three years later, the state’s percentage of heavy school children remains the same: 38 percent. But another statistic has emerged: 13 percent of parents reported that their children had been teased because of the new program, according to the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Weighing children regularly does not help them become thin, says Miriam Berg, president of the national Council on Size & Weight Discrimination. Berg believes promoting weight loss as public policy is misguided for three reasons:

  • the policy targets fat kids and promotes discrimination against them;
  • teaches all kids that fatness should be avoided at all costs, resulting in dangerous diet practices and eating disorders; and
  • ignores the nutritional, exercise and health needs of kids who are average weight or thinner than average.

Instead of forced weighings and BMI checks that focus all attention on heavier kids, Schwartz, of the Yale Center for Eating and Weight Disorders, says schools should develop creative ways to get all students more active. She suggests PE classes that emphasize different choices of movement, not just team sports.

Laura Perdikomatis, chair of Woodside High School’s physical education department in Woodside, Calif., couldn’t agree more.

“I think we’re turning them off,” she says, of mandated fitness tests that are harder for larger students to complete.

She says coaches, who often use running as a punishment, sometimes stand in the way of progress. Perdikomatis has heard a group of PE teachers, for example, laugh at the very concept of Health At Every Size.

“They think everyone should be the same size,” she says.

Perdikomatis just received a grant to furnish her high school’s fitness center with games like the interactive “Dance, Dance, Revolution” and a stationary bike/Play Station II combination. The equipment is not only fun, Perdikomatis says, but it also puts the focus on heart rate rather than on the mechanics of a fitness test.

Frances Berg, founder of the Healthy Weight Journal, says that’s the way it should be.

“It’s important to practice healthy habits no matter how much you weigh,” Berg says. “It’s not the weight; it’s how active you are. (And) kids have to enjoy what they’re doing, or else it won’t work.”

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 Teaching Tolerance’s educational kits and subscriptions to its magazine are FREE to: classroom teachers, school librarians, school counselors, school administrators, professors of education, leaders of homeschool networks, youth directors at houses of worship and employees of youth-serving nonprofit organizations.

More size-acceptance resources from Tolerance.org include:

 

Tips For Teachers
People usually think about diversity in terms of ethnicity, class, gender and ability. Fat children also have a unique perspective on the world. Learn to see fat children as a valid part of diversity

 

LABELS: The ‘O’ Words
The size acceptance community embraces the label “fat” over words like “obese” and “overweight.”

 

Kids Come In All Sizes
Use this workshop to teach all students to feel good about their bodies.

 

This Story at Work
Do you possess anti-fat biases? Take a free, confidential online and find out what’s lurking in your subconscious. After taking the test, try to identify steps you can take to offset or minimize biases you may hold related to size or other factors.

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